“If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. It’s what makes it hard that makes
it great.” That was Tom Hanks’ line in the women’s wartime baseball movie,
“A League of Their Own.” I think it applies to skiing too.
For those of us who have been skiing since we were shorter than a ski pole,
it is easy to take for granted the multi-step process involved in hitting
the slopes.
First there is the road trip. Few of us are fortunate enough to live
slopeside. You begin your expedition to the slopes by stuffing all your
ski-related belongings into your vehicle, trying to overcome that gut
feeling that you have forgotten something. You rationalize that within the
49 pounds of gear, surely you have everything you need. There is the mental
checklist; hat, boots, boards, goggles, pass, gloves, money, and the list
goes on. A well-equipped skier needs a Boy Scout mentality, be prepared for
anything.
Next, you hit the road, usually before the sun has made a meaningful
appearance. Travel conditions often include snow - which is cause for
celebration, but also intense concentration for the white-knuckled drive (as
if you weren’t anxious enough to get to the slopes?).
Arriving at the ski area - finding a parking space is not an issue since
orange-vested attendants flag you to a spot, seemingly as far from the lodge
as possible. You try to leave room to open your doors and tailgate to access
the aforementioned plethora of gear, while the wand-waving attendant
vehemently shoehorns in the next eager skier’s car.
Once you have unloaded your boards, you must lug your boots to the lodge or
put them on at the car. Balancing on one foot in your shoe, while stuffing
the other into the tight awkward ski boot is a skiers’ callisthenic. We all
must admit we have accidentally put that socking foot into the snow on more
than one occasion.
Carrying your skis can be downright comical if not done with proficiency;
this stunt makes the highlight reel of many Warren Miller movies. It’s not
innate to wield five feet of metal-edged gear with composure and grace.
Now you shell out a day’s wages at the ticket window, being careful not to
drop your gloves in the snow, or leave them at the counter. You balance
everything as you fold, peel, and stick the ticket to the wicket –
positioning it so it won’t later flap in your face.
Next comes the arduous climb to the lift. Why are loading areas typically
20-vertical feet above the lodge?
Next you balance on one boot as you whack the other with a ski pole to
dislodge accumulated snow stuck to your sole. Every good skier knows the
critical sound of the clean binding click.
You slide through the lift corral past the “wait here” to the “load here”
sign, and prepare for the 400-pound chair to knock your knees out from under
you as you take a seat. Ironic that one of the seven skiers’ responsibility
codes is to have the knowledge and ability to load, ride and unload the
lift. Does anyone ever ask the lift attendants for instructions? I doubt it.
After a swift ascent, you disembark and put on your pole straps like your
mother taught you; “the bunny comes up through the hole and then grabs the
carrot.”
And at last, you are skiing. It’s all worth it. You glide over the silky
snow. The pull of gravity accelerates you down the slopes. Wind whistles in
your ears. Your lift ticket flaps as you cruise past shimmering birch trees
and snow draped pines. You build up speed and rock your hips to engage a
smooth turn, feeling the g-force that springs you into the next sweeping
arc. Now you remember why you do this. There is no sensation quite the same,
it’s exhilarating, like flying without the height concern.
In the next lift queue, you see familiar “same time each weekend” faces, and
exchange satisfied smiles. Ride up, slide down, and repeat a ridiculous
number of times.
Awaiting you at day’s end is that well-deserved après-ski drink and hot tub,
where you recount your downhill drama and stretch (the truth - that is). Ah,
skiing. No one said it was simple, but it sure is sweet.
Read our ski vacation articles for tips on even sweeter skiing!
